On the Field of Destiny were 4 comrades-in-arms: the super soldier Eden Space, one of Lord Maul’s Assassins, a Semi-Tactical Operator, and a Mercenary. While talking, they discovered they all hailed from the same Village of Cats Haven.
Soon the small band of warriors-for-hire was joined by Meyer Mired, a Jilockian from the planet Zimoth and an agent of Lord Maul. He told them that he had come through the portal to the Realm of the Silver Elves seeking dragons and he was very annoyed! He complained bitterly that he had discovered it was just a tourist trap.
“The dragons are a lie!” he declared loudly. Meyer Mired also shared with the expatriate Villagers some of his butterbeer. Unbeknownst to the Jilockian, the butterbeer had long expired due to the time dilation of his many interdimensional jumps and so it poisoned the minds of the Villagers. Now highly susceptible to suggestion and influenced by the rantings of Meyer Mired, they suddenly screamed in horror and fear!
“Dragons!” shouted Eden Space.
“Run for it!” cried Lord Maul’s Assassin.
“Find cover!” yelled the Semi-Tactical Operator.
“Arm yourselves!” bellowed the Mercenary. And so they all grabbed their blasters and ran.
Meyer Mired watched them flee and thought, “Those Cats Haven Villagers are certainly strange creatures.” He then took his tainted butterbeer and wandered over to a group of Marauders. He promptly offered to share some of his bounty. Just as promptly, he started his lament about the Dragons of Dragonwood. The Dark Knight, the demon-human hybrid Aloysius Trancy, the Birthday Boy, Sage Petunia, Martha McFly, and the Wanderer all listened entranced as the dangerous brew took hold of their minds. When Meyer Mired told them about the Villagers fleeing, the Marauders “knew” immediately what had happened.
“Dragons!” shouted Martha McFly! Which was atypical for her as she is generally friendly with old people and only gets into fistfights with people who call her chicken or applesauce.
“They’ll be eaten for sure!” cried Sage Petunia, a Forest Elf.
“We must find them!” yelled the Birthday Boy.
“And kill them all!” bellowed Aloysius Trancy, feeling extra woozy as he’d only recently been pushed through a portal for being too annoying because he’s just so flamboyant.
Now that last bellow from Aloysius was a bit of an unexpected turn, but no one was thinking clearly at this point, including Meyer Mired who was delighted to “learn” that the dragons were real.
“Arm yourselves!” cried the Dark Knight, thinking to himself that he was glad he has mastered the Crack of Darkness which would allow him to thrust any opponent into a pocket universe for long enough for him to get away.
And so the Marauders all took up their swords, their spears, and their sabers, but left their wits.
“Wait!” roared Sage Petunia. “Someone must guard the Sanctuary!” she said as she looked around at the Field of Destiny as if it was a haven not just for cats but for all creatures who feared dragons (which is not say that cats really fear dragons for cats are known to sometimes be dragons). As a Forest Elf, Sage Petunia had strong magical nature powers and she wondered if she ought to create some plants or maybe call a storm.
“I shall stand guard!” declared the Wanderer, breaking Sage Petunia from her reverie.
“And I shall join you,” said Martha McFly, who wasn’t really interested in confronting a dragon as she was crunchy and feared she might taste good with ketchup.
And so, Aloysius Trancy, Meyer Mired, Sage Petunia, the Dark Knight, and the Birthday Boy set out to hunt down the Villagers, not quite sure if their goal was to kill them all or save them from the dragons.
And so began a merry chase. The Villagers running from the dragons. The Marauders hunting for the Villagers. The dragons slumbering.
Throughout the chase, a Statue appeared here and there. Fortunately, no one died. This may not have been for the best.
In the middle of it all, Sir Wulfric fell out of a portal, followed the Statue for a while, and then joined the Marauders on their merry chase, not really caring that their story made no sense for he simply relished the challenge.
Eden Space and Lord Maul’s Assassin returned to the Field of Destiny hoping to find Sanctuary from the dragon. In their madness, they set upon and killed the Wanderer and Martha McFly.
And the dragons? Well. That is the story. For the Semi-Tactical Operator and the Mercenary went on a reconnaissance mission to see if the Villagers could safely return. While passing too near the Faraway Leaf Inn, they were not as sneaky as they intended to be and thus unintentionally awakened the Great Dragon of the Realm who snatched them up and swallowed them in a single bite — so that their potential crunchiness or the appropriate condiment to use were both irrelevant.
The Great Dragon then lumbered down and ate everyone else without bothering to even bring salt. Meyer Mired experienced an exceedingly brief moment of happiness at having finally seen a real dragon.
And thus ended the adventure.